Ridiculous

A Truly Special and Hilarious Individual

I’ve wanted to write this dedication for a little while now and I feel that today is the day that it needs to be done.  This is a person who I’ve known all their lives (as they’re a few years younger than me) and over that time, he has become a brother.  He is genuinely one of my favourite people.

Of course, our relationship is not perfect and we’ve had our share of arguments, but we’ve always managed to remain friends in spite of it all.  He drives me crazy at times and he can infuriate me, especially when he doesn’t use the amazing potential I know he has, but he never, ever fails to make me smile.

He is  actually one of the funniest people you will ever meet, with an abundance of foolish jokes and ridiculous catchphrases.  He always seems to come up with something new that has me cracking up for a long time.  I think that any one would find him amusing.

His personality is truly special and he has a lot of love to give, especially to those that he has grown up with.  I know that he is going to do really good things some day, because he is so much smarter than he lets on.

So many of my favourite memories include him and I don’t think a month goes by when I haven’t reminisced about something he did and said, which made me laugh.  We’ve celebrated a number of our birthdays together, I’ve enjoyed pizza nights at his house and we’ve had crazy journeys home.

I will never forget him getting a man to dance with him at the bus station and his misery over staying out for my 20th birthday – although he committed to taking photos, the poor thing fell asleep on the bus.

I could probably write a whole series of blogs based on things my brother has said and done, times spent at each other’s houses and just the many memories we’ve shared together.  When I say he is a special person, I definitely mean it.  I have a lot of time for him, because I see the person that so many other don’t see, which is part of the reason why I love him so, so much.

Off My Chest

I know that I’m supposed to be writing about one of the beautiful people in my life, but I just have to get something (or even some things) off my chest.

I am feeling ridiculously emotional these days and I have no idea why, but it is actually starting to bother me.  The smallest little thing can bring me to tears and pointless things make me feel sad.  I managed to make myself cry when sulking about being unable to watch the NFL and I felt extremely sad when struggling to find a phone that I liked.

And what is worse, is that my emotional state is being combined with thoughts of a certain someone.  It seems that no matter how hard I try, I cannot get this person out of my head and it is so frustrating.  I began to forget about him and I haven’t even seen him recently, yet thoughts of him still find a way to cloud my mind and it is annoying.

Yet what makes that even worse still, is that this is the one guy I have been genuinely into for a very long time and he has disappeared into thin air, but I find myself constantly interacting with the most foolish guys.  Why must some males talk the most rubbish and be extremely impatient, like say the females they are talking to don’t have lives?  It’s incredibly unattractive.

My over emotional self is annoying.  My thoughts of this certain someone are frustrating.  And guys are just so ridiculous.  I’m sorry for going off on one, but I just had to get this off my chest before I had an inner explosion.

Out of Danger into the Arms of Safety

The devil has played me good and proper, you know.  As I talked to one of my closest friends recently, it dawned on me just how much the devil has messed me up and poisoned my mind.

I spent so long attacking myself and putting myself down, that I believed that I was at the central point of anything going wrong in my life.  When my friend was drifting away – because he was working on himself and he needed that time to himself – I made myself believe that it was because of something I had done wrong.

Although I was always kind, caring and supportive, I believed that I had inadvertently done something.  Even though we had no arguments or any issues, I thought that I had somehow offended him.  Somehow, my actions or what I’d said had caused my friend to distance from me and that made me think that nothing he’d said was true.

However, when we actually spoke in person, he asked me what I could possibly have done.  He said that I could not say anything that bad that would make him not want to speak to me, and he assured me that his distance was because he needed to sort himself out, rather than run away from me.

I sat there, wanting to slap myself for being so ridiculous and laugh at how much I had let the devil get into my head.  I am so glad that God has finally helped me realise that I am not always the problem, even though I would have myself believe that I am.  Not everything is my fault and I am not the stupid, annoying, pathetic person I spent so long thinking I was.

The devil has had a stronghold in me, but with God guiding me, I am finally fighting through and cutting it down.  My mind and the voice in my head has proved so dangerous over the years, but I am now getting out of that danger and into the safety of my God’s loving arms.