So Sick

I’m so sick of this headache, which feels like my head is pounding.

I’m so sick of this cough and my scratchy throat.

I’m so sick of the feelings of congestion, leading to earache and some nasal pain.

I’m so sick and tired of the pain in my jaw, as my final wisdom tooth fights to push its way through.

I’m so sick and tired of lacking inspiration and struggling with ideas of what to write.

I’m so sick and tired of being at some sort of stand still and trying to move forward, but getting no where.

I’m so sick and tired of people thinking they have right to judge how other individuals worship.

I’m sick and tired of the dreary worship services taking place in my church.

I’m sick and tired of the lack of love in our churches, but the constant focusing on ‘dos and don’ts’.

I’m sick and tired of people talking for talking’s sake and saying things just because they believe they should.

I’m sick and tired of people not meaning what they say and making empty promises.

I’m tired of people’s words not being cohesive with their actions.

I’m tired of the treatment I receive from some of my [so-called] friends.

I’m tired of people letting me down, forgetting about me, leaving me behind and treating me like second best.

I’m tired of not being given opportunities and chances to prove myself.

There are times when I’m so sick and tired of life and the pathetic sin-riddled world we’ve been forced to live in.

I’m just so sick and tired of it.

Saving Myself

My religious beliefs and values are of a high importance to me, so I take them very seriously.  I belive that there is a sacredness in sex between a married couple, which is why I have decided to stay a virgin until marriage.

Sex is an amazing gift from God that is supposed to be shared by two people, symbolising the two of them becoming one.  It is a deeper and more meaningful act with a higher significance than many of us realise, which is why God intended for us to have only one sexual partner – our husband or our wife.

When you have sex, you are giving yourself fully to that person, so that they will have a part of you and you of them.  And by having sex with multiple partners, you are leaving pieces of yourself all around the place in various individuals.

It is also harder for you to break free from the person you’ve slept with, because you’ve formed that deep physical and emotional connection that is designed to last forever.  I want to feel that deep connection with a single individual, not only because that is what God intended, but because it will make our relationship all the more special and it will be sacred for me.

However, choosing to remain a virgin until marriage is extremely difficult in the world we are living in at this present time.  Many individuals see sex as nothing more than an action for their pleasure and they do it so much that it eventually means nothing to them.

Sex has also become something that is expected in a relationship, especially among the males.  If you are not willing to give them what they want, they will not even take the time to date you or they will look elsewhere to remain satisfied while they are in the relationship.

There are many individuals who conform and give in to what the male or female they like wants, because they are trying so hard to keep hold of them.  And once that happens, there is no stopping them from doing the same thing again during their next encounter.

While discussing this with my sister, she said that she would feel bad about making a non-virgin wait until marriage to have sex, because of the lengthy relationship.  I mean, since they’ve already had sex and therefore know what they’re missing, why should the person you’re in love with respect your beliefs and be willing to wait until marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, not everyone will respect your beliefs and not everyone will be willing or able to wait until marriage to have sex.  However, you should never feel bad about what you believe and it is both sad and unfair that the ways of this world make us feel bad about what we choose to believe.

Staying true to who you are and what you believe in can be difficult at times, but it is up to you to make a stand and be the person that you want to be.  And if you want others to respect your beliefs, then you also need to respect theirs, because we live in a world that has a large melting pot of individuals.

Saving myself until marriage really means a lot to me and I understand that it will make finding a husband in this day and age a little more difficult; but although getting married is extremely meaningful for me, my relationship with God and my journey towards Heaven is far more significant.  Nevertheless, I know that God has got my back and I have faith that He will come through for me…