Pointless

Fighting Failure

Failure.

Failure.

Failure.

Failure,

Rings out in my mind,

Poisoning me

From the inside out;

Infecting the positivity,

Any belief in me,

In my abilities.

Never an ‘A’

But an ‘F’

Plus, lack of support,

Loss of motivation,

Confusion of my mission.

Failure;

Leading onto uselessness,

Like what I’m doing is pointless,

Meaning nothing,

Making no impact,

Slowly chugging on,

But moving nowhere,

Despite my best efforts;

I wonder why I try and try,

Feeling like I’m dying inside.

Stresses and hurt killing me,

Melancholy weighs down on me,

Don’t know why I’m sad,

My head’s empty,

But heart’s heavy,

Longing for it all stop

Effective immediately;

Wishing I had no purpose,

No calling,

Would make it simpler

When working,

Feeling I need to head in one direction,

Is causing me affliction.

“Make it stop,” I beg,

But life still carries on,

My emotions persist,

Dragging me along,

Knocking my head

At every turn,

Making death feel closer,

For which I sometimes yearn,

But then remembering,

I’ve got more to give yet,

Still things to do,

My story needs an end.

Questions of the Heart

Do you know how stupid it feels to be into someone that you barely even know?

Do you know how weird it feels to really care about someone that you’ve only met a handful of times?

Do you know how annoying it is to have feelings for someone who clearly doesn’t have those same feelings for you?

Do you know how long it gets to hear that someone is not good enough for you or even good for you?

Is it odd to be into someone who leads a completely different life and is on a totally different level to you?

Is it crazy to feel a connection and deep-rooted attraction to someone who is practically a stranger?

Is it wrong to wish that you’d see someone again just so that you’d get another chance to speak to them?

Is it pathetic for you to still want a person to call, even though they’ve left you hanging for a long period of time?

Is it a pointless endeavour for you to keep someone in your prayers, because you want the best for them, even though they might not want the same thing?

Why is it that people stay on your mind, even when you no longer want them there?

Why is it that the wrong people find a way to tug at your heartstrings?

Why is it that I’m still into you and why is it that my feelings won’t go away, even when you don’t deserve it?  Is it just that I’m a sucker for heartbreak and pain?