Love of My Life

The love of my life.

Honestly, I don’t know why,

I don’t know how

I didn’t realise or acknowledge it sooner.

Referring instead to college basketball,

which is one

of the great loves of my life;

yet its done nothing for me

and my feelings could change

as they have for the NFL and NBA.

My love for You will never change,

unless you count it growing stronger

each passing day.

I know Your love for me is unwavering,


the truest love I’ll ever know.

You’re my constant,

always to be relied upon,

never to let me down;

an ear that never fails to listen,

strong arms that cannot drop me

and a heart I know is genuine.

Your consistent character

means I always know where I stand.

Lies never come from your mouth,

empty words neither,

Your promises the sole ones that matter.

That’s why I’ve given You my heart,

it’s Yours to have


I know You won’t disrespect it,

discard it,

destroy it;

only nurture it,

protect it,

care for it;

take time to heal,


mould it.

You not only have my heart,

but You have all of me,

wanting to devote my life to You,

prove I’m worthy;

because You are perfection,

that’s no exaggeration,

while I’m tarnished,

not even worthy to be in Your presence.

In spite of this,

You still want me there with You;

giving your precious time

and care,

showering me with love unconditional.

I cannot wait to spend

my eternity with You,

finally gazing on the face

of the ultimate love of my life,

who saved me through grace and mercy,

continuously forgave me

and filled the heart

that had broken into pieces.


Your Favourite Line

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

That’s your favourite line.

Sorry, I mean

That’s your favourite lie;

Recited over and over again

So that now,

Even you believe it.

I’m wondering though,

Do you actually believe it?

Cos the last time you said it,

Your eyes shifted,

Voice lowered,

Telling me you were lying

Even as you tired

To reassure me.

Your want to be seen as real,



Reeked a little of desperation,

As you emphasised that your words were true,

You had nothing to hide,

When we both know that you do;

With the aloof answers,

Evading questions

And repetition of,

“I’ll tell you eventually.”

I granted you the benefit of the doubt,

At first,

Cos I’ve got a guard around me too,

Not sharing everything,

Keeping things in

Until I’m sure of you.

I thought we were one in the same,

Meaning I couldn’t stay mad at you,

But I began to see

There was more to it;

You weren’t being real with me.

With no words,

No explanation from you,

I question if you were ever real.

Were your feelings fake,

Your charm a charade,

Your sweetness a scheme

To try and seduce me?

You’ve left more questions than answers,

More confusion than clarity,

More uncertainty than closure,

But the one thing you’ve left meĀ certain of,

Is that you would definitely say something

And not mean it.


Suffering in Silence

They say you should talk to someone,

That talking makes it better;

But what happens

When you feel you can’t,

That you can’t approach anyone,

You can’t allow yourself to open up,

Let them know how you feel;

When you feel disconnected

From everyone,

Disconnected from the world;

You can’t let anyone in,

Don’t want to let anyone close,

Refuse to let them know

How you’re truly feeling.

Unable to form the words,

Let guards fall down,


How much of a mangled mess

Your heart is in;

So you take it upon yourself

To struggle in silence,

Put on a brave face

Only talk to God in prayer;

Letting tears fall

Behind the safety of closed doors,

Because you refuse

To let them see you vulnerable.

Those once held close

Now in the distance,

Those who could be close

Always held at a distance;

And those who are close,

You keep a distance

Between you,

Afraid of letting them in,

Wanting to keep your burdens

Far from them.

So what happens

When you can’t talk to someone,

When it simply isn’t an option?

Because you can’t force yourself

To talk

When you feel you can’t open up

To other human beings.