Peace

Perfect Peace

People have consistently been asking me how I’ve been since I got baptised on the 23rd March.  I say it’s just been life, because it has been, but I haven’t really gone into it in-depth.  This poem, though, says everything.

If God were to take my breath from me today, I think I’d be content.
Laid back comfortably on the bed that is nothing but a source of joy
Listening to the songs that have warmed my soul.

Having become the director of an organisation and collated a collection of poems
Facilitated creative activities and gained friends from all walks of life,
Grown as a person and performed in a spoken word show
Found purpose, discovered myself and made my way into a career I love.

Most of all, I developed a beautiful relationship with my Creator, Saviour and King
Studied His word and had amazing conversations in abundance,
Became better through Him, before giving my life wholly to Him.

I’ve also poured myself out, over and over, rarely ever re-filled
Often barely standing or getting through the day,
Dreading minutes and hours I have to be among others, smiling in their faces.

Tired of being drawn from and pulled on by countless sources, expecting free labour consistent
Drained by the state of our contaminated world, forever breaking my heart
Exhausted from trying to remain happy and positive, everyone sees me beaming
Fatigued by friends who turn out not to be friends, repeatedly out-of-place;
I feel I may have reached my peak and am giving from an empty well
Cos I’m blind to envisioning, it’s covered in black, unable to see a future for myself.

I’m ready to embrace sweet sleep where I won’t be used, stressed or hurt
No longer tired of being tired and fighting with myself,
Won’t have to wrestle with not feeling good enough or that I’m insignificant on this earth
Because I’ll finally be at perfect peace; seeing, hearing, feeling     nothing.

Shaniqua Benjamin

Shock

I sat with my mouth wide open in shock when I read about the death of L’Wren Scott two days ago.  She was a beautiful and talented woman whose life was gone too soon – she wasn’t even fifty yet.  L’Wren had so much more to give to the world, so I was horrified when I discovered that she had taken her own life.

This death really struck a chord with me, because L’Wren Scott was a fashion designer and fashion has a special place in my heart.  I originally wanted to be a fashion designer and although my career ambitions have changed, fashion is still incredibly important to me and I have never stopped loving it.  Any tragic thing that happens to a fashion designer will always tug at my heart-strings.

In the public eye, L’Wren was still at the high point of her career, very beautiful and in a relationship with one of the biggest rock stars in the world.  However, we don’t know what was going on behind closed doors and what problems she may have been facing.  News has come out that she was in millions of dollars of debt, which is enough to drive anyone into depression, but we don’t know if that is the main reason behind her death.

It is saddens me to think that L’Wren’s life had become such a burden on her, that she thought the only way out was to kill herself.  No one should have to go through that or get to that stage, but it just goes to show that all the fame and fortune in the world cannot buy you happiness, meaning or a sense of inner peace.

The fashion world are mourning the loss of a true talent, who made the transition from fashion model to a successful fashion designer.  Mick Jagger is mourning the loss of a partner he had spent over ten years with.  And her loved ones are mourning the loss of a friend and beloved family member.

L’Wren Scott was a statuesque beauty whose life ended prematurely, but at least she is finally at peace.  I hope that her legacy lives on and that when people say her name, this will not be the first thought of her that enters their mind.  RIP L’Wren Scott.