Tumbling and Turning Thoughts

My mind is like a washing machine, with thoughts and questions tumbling and turning around in my head.  I jump from one point to another, thinking about various aspects of my life and trying to stay positive, not letting the inner demons take over.

Wondering will anything actually go right for me, instead of regularly sinking in the wrong direction or throwing me off course.  However, I need to remember that God always comes through for me and that I need to have faith in Him, faith in what He will do for me, faith in His perfect timing.

I find myself asking, why do people keep leaving me?  Not just friends, but those advising me and helping me through certain endeavours in my life, moving on to pastures anew when I’ve become comfortable and built up trust with them.  However, I need to remember that they’re not specifically leaving me, but just going forward in their life and who am I to prevent them from doing that.

Then there is the issue of love, my heart, the guys in my life.  Oh, the guys in my life.  Why can’t I like the ones who like me, rather than liking the wrong ones or the guys who are never going to like me?  Why does my mind keep coming back to the same guy, who is definitely the wrong guy?  Thinking I’m going to be single for a very long time, that my vision of love doesn’t look like it’s coming anytime soon.  However, I need to remember to be patient and faithful, believing that God will send me the right guy at the right time in my life.

I’m frustrated, I’m upset, I’m conflicted and tired of trying to get things done, but having them go wrong.  Yet I’m thankful, strong enough to get through and getting more resilient all the time.  My God has always helped me through and He will never let me down, so despite all the negative questions and thoughts, I’m holding on.

Learning Process

I need to start learning not to doubt and just keep trusting my God, because He always comes through for me.

He knows the plans He has for my life, so His timing is always perfect.  I just need to learn to be patient and believe in myself.

But it is not only about believing in myself, but about believing in the person I can be in Him.  After all, God always has my back.

Staying Patient and Faithful

In a world full of evil, pain and deception, when bad things are constantly happening to us, it can be very difficult to trust in God and believe that He we will come through for us.

I find myself struggling, despite how hard I try, and it seems that I’m never going to catch a break.  This week these frustrations flared up again and I found it hard to believe that everything would work out alright.  Like many times before, my faith waned.

However, God was again able to reassure me and He helped me to reconsider what it is that I really have to do.  He also provided me with some much-needed help and sent someone I love to brighten up my week.

Times are difficult and we suffer, whether we are good or bad people.  We get annoyed when bad things happen to good people, but it is inevitable, because we are living in a world of sin.  It doesn’t mean that God has abandoned us or that He won’t make a way eventually, because His time is different to ours.

No matter how much I struggle or become frustrated, I have to remember to remain faithful and be patient, because my God is great and He has never let me down before.  He knows just what I need, when I need it, but more than that, He knows what plans He has for my life.