Outsider

Riding The Two-Week Emotional Roller Coaster

Up, down,

Round and round,

Not knowing what to think,

What to feel,

Taking me on a roller coaster of emotions.

Riding that roller coaster

Over the past two weeks,

On a journey more special

Than I ever imagined.

Surrounded by friends,

Old and new,

Further developing my extended family,

I was encircled by love,

Filling my heart to the full,

Falling in love with all around me.

In spite of this love,

I felt a sadness,

Pain cutting through my heart

With no way to stop it.

Grief hit me,

A sense of loneliness overtook me,

Feeling hurt by somebody,

Like an outsider around everybody.

Taking some time out,

Some time to recuperate,

I began to heal, smile

Grow, learn,

Embrace all that was going on around me.

 

Suddenly, believing love was possible again,

Laying myself bare for all to see,

Gaining a better understanding of who I was,

And what I could really be.

Overcome with sadness to be going home,

ButĀ filled with happiness and glee,

It was time for this ride to come to an end,

It had become a little too much for me.

I finished this ride feeling

Like I had at the start,

A little unsure,

Quite out-of-place,

A little despondent at heart;

Not looking at some the same way,

Feeling a bond had been broken,

Confused at how I got someone so wrong,

But not surprised, as they are human.

My feelings may have been the same,

But I was different,

Reacting, handling things in a better way,

This emotional roller coaster was truly special,

No one can ever take that away.