Make a Difference

Give Us Your Heart

I can honestly say that it’s been an emotional week for me, but not in the way some might think.  It’s not because someone’s hurt me or I’ve been struggling with something in my life, but it’s been because of the way the world’s been effecting me. On Monday, I found myself crying after reading a raw, moving article on the injustices that black people have faced; and on Tuesday, I found myself in tears again after hearing firsthand about some of the disgusting behaviour that Polish and Lithuanian people in my hometown of Croydon had been subjected to.

The cruel, sad state of the world was breaking my heart again, but to an extent that I’d never felt before.  Inside of me, I could feel the overwhelming need to do something filling my body and it was having an intensely emotional effect on me.  I found myself waking up tired, because I had not been sleeping properly.  I found myself on my knees, praying to God for answers and begging to hear His voice, so I would know what action to take going forward.

It also made me recall one of William McDowell’s ad-libs in his song, Give Us Your Heart: “Break our hearts for the things that break yours”.  I realised that if my heart was breaking this much over the state of the world, I could not imagine how much more God’s heart is breaking over it.

Give Us Your Heart is my main song right now, for a number of reasons.  It’s beautiful, overflowing with emotion and the lyrics speak to me in a special way, particularly at this stage of my life and journey with God.  I not only want to understand and know God better, but I want a heart like His.  I want to have compassion and love for others, I want to support others in any way I can and ensure they feel that they are listened to.  I want them to feel that someone has their back, just like God has mine.

The song strongly begins to resonate with me when it gets to about the middle section, crying out for God to give us His heart.  I think the lyrics are incredibly powerful and speak for themselves:

“Give us your heart
Your heart for the nations
For this generation
Give us your heart
Give us your heart
For the wounded and the broken
For the widow and the orphan
Give us your heart
Give us your heart
For the lost and the dying
We hear your people crying
Give us your heart
Give us your heart
For the world that we live in
For the harvest that is waiting
Give us your heart.”

The voices then sing “Lord we will go” – we’ll go to the nations and this generation, the wounded and the broken, the widow and the orphan, the lost and the dying, to the world that we live in to reap the harvest that is waiting.  For me, this part of the song is very personal and I’ve found myself singing that I will go to the nations, to this generation, because it is what I want to do and feel that I need to do.  It is not only a deceleration, but it is like a prayer for me.

The line, “Fill us up and send us out” is then sung, which carries on the prayer, because I want God to fill me with His presence so I can then go out and do whatever it is that He has called me to do, because “I wanna live a life poured out”.  I want to be able to say that I’ve done all I can do for God and reached as many people as possible.  I want to make a genuine difference in the world, because I believe that it’s needed and my heart breaks for all the injustice.

Give Us Your Heart ends on an amazing high, with the voices singing: “We can change the world”.  I find this part of the song incredibly powerful and I believe that with God backing me, I can play a part in changing the world, one step at a time.  Others may doubt it or think I’m crazy, but I believe it and God believes in me, which is all that matters.

I believe that God is giving me His heart, and He has been doing so over the past few years, without me even realising it.  Now it is up to me to put it to good use and not waste it, because I not only want to live a life poured out, but I need to play a part in making a difference and helping others, as there is a “harvest that is waiting”.

Not Afraid to Say I Love You

I love you.

Eight letters,

Three words,

That I’m not afraid to say.

Some shy away from it,

Or word it in a subtle way;

But I can’t understand why,

Because there’s nothing wrong or shameful

In expressing your love.

Expressing you love

For family,

For friends,

For boyfriends or girlfriends,

For husbands or wives.

My heart is full,

Bursting to the brim

With love.

So full,

That I’m desperate to share it,

Before I burst

Or all my love dries up,

Leaving my heart shrivelled on the floor.

Fullness of love

Can be a beautiful thing,

Spreading joy like stardust,

Putting shining smiles on the faces of others.

Those three simple words

Might brighten a person’s day,

Making the sun come out,

Where once there was darkness.

That fullness of love

Can also be a curse,

As others continuously drink from the well,

Without pouring anything back,

Leaving me empty, used, dried up,

Thirsting for some of the love

I’ve given to those around me.

Yet no matter what happens,

I will never stop saying I love you,

Because those three simple words,

Coated in beauty

Have the power to make a huge difference.





Being Different and Making a Difference

Last week I was in Sussex to attend what you might call a religious gathering or retreat, which came at the perfect time for me.  Again, God came through for me and sent camp meeting just when I needed it.

I needed healing – mind, body and soul – which my week at camp meeting provided for me.  I found myself being temperate and going to bed at a time that I see as early, which was great for my health and I aim to keep it up now that I’m home.  I also ate three, relatively healthy meals each day, while drinking lots of water.

I was able to stay on my own, which gave me some time for self-reflection and self meditation, which I have been in desperate need of and enabled me to come to some decisions about my life going forward.  Although it will be difficult, I will have to let go of some people in my life and step out in courage rather than living in fear.

God was able to provide some healing for my soul, mainly through the messages delivered by Pastor Davis and Pastor Kelly.  Pastor Davis delivered some powerful lessons during morning devotion that made me re-evaluate my life and look hard at some of my actions.

Despite having heard Pastor Kelly’s sermons before, it was good to hear a refresher and again take a good look at myself and some of the situations I have found myself in.  By the end of the week, I found myself in tears as my emotions refused to stay buried away.

This camp meeting was a blessed experience for me, for a number of reasons, and I refuse to remain the same way I was before I came.  Pastor Kelly made a great point about us being different and making a difference, which is exactly the aim for my life.  I want to be the person God intended for me to be and make a real difference in this world.