Missing You On Your Birthday

Dad in Jamaica 5It would have been your birthday today, making the loss of you all the more real.  I would have seen you at church today or called up the house to say, “Happy Birthday Grandad!” and hear you reply, “Thank you darling.”  It’s sad that I’m not able to hear your voice, see you smile or give you a hug.

I still miss you, each and everyday, feeling the hurt of knowing my grandad is no longer here.  Talking to mum and Rhianna today, we agreed that God knew that it was your time to go, but I can’t help wishing that you were still here.  I still wanted more time with you – time to hear more of your silly jokes, time to study Revelation, time to learn more about your childhood and your home of Jamaica.

I wanted more time to speak with you, as there are so many things I wish I could have said and so much more love I wish I could have shown.  Often when you come to mind, I wonder if you knew how much I loved you – I really hope you did.

August is now a little emptier without you, and I hate that.  We were part of the same club, celebrating our birthdays nine days apart, but Zane now has that day to himself.  There were many years when doctors and other individuals thought you wouldn’t be spending birthdays with us, but I never shared their doubts, so it comes as a surprise to me that I’m not telling you happy birthday this year.  You were such a fighter, I just didn’t imagine losing you.

I guess I’ll just have to get used to an August without you, no longer able to celebrate your birthday or have you around to celebrate mine.  However, I’m incredibly happy for all of the Augusts I did spend with you and all of the memories you gave me over the years.  I was very lucky to have you as my grandad and you still have a piece of my heart.  I love you always and forever.


My Other Half

My sister is always asking for me to write a blog post that is all about her and I have always told her no, saying that the time would come when I would write something genuine and meaningful about her, rather than just writing about her for the sake of it.  I have mentioned her in numerous blog posts, but today this one is dedicated especially to her.

My sister went away yesterday to spend a week working in a different part of the country, which made me a little sad, because I am going to miss her loads.  Nevertheless, I am happy for her to gain this great experience and I will probably find myself going to bed earlier and getting less distracted without her being here.  I will also know how she felt when I spent a week away at camp meeting last year.

Some of you may be saying that it’s only a week and it will pass by in no time, but you don’t understand the bond that my sister and I have.  It’s funny when there are times that I go to church without her and people will ask me, “Where’s you other half”, because they are so used to seeing us together.  It’s even funnier when people will say “Hello girls” when it is only me standing there, because they think that the two of us come as a pair. Despite us being two different individuals, there are times when we are seen as one.

Nevertheless, my sister is my other half and even though we drive each other crazy at times and sometimes need away from one another, we couldn’t live without each other.  We are best friends who laugh together, cry together, act silly together, share secrets and have a lot of fun.  We are so in sync that we sometimes say that we are actually twins who were born three years apart.

My sister has flaws like everyone else and she can annoy me like anyone else, but I can proudly say that anyone would be lucky to have a sister like mine.  You could not ask for a more loyal sibling, who would be upset with someone on your behalf and who would stick up for you in your time of need.  You also could not ask for a funnier person to spend time with.

Not all sisters get along and not all of them have close relationships, so I am extremely glad to have a sister that I can get along with and who is also my best friend.  We haven’t had an easy ride, but what relationship does? I’m just happy that she is my sister and I can’t wait for her to come back.  I’ll just have to keep myself busy until then.