Jokes

A Letter to My Grandad

Grandad,

I can’t believe it’s been a year since you passed, time flies by so fast, yet it still feels surreal.  I don’t see you anymore and you’re not here, buried how many feet down in the ground; but it feels like you should still be here.  Not seeing you feels wrong.

Going to your house, it’s weird not having you greet me at the door with one of your famous lines or watch you slowly descending down the stairs.  It’s sad not seeing you at church on a Sabbath and not hearing from you on my birthday wasn’t nice.  In fact, not being able to tell you happy birthday wasn’t nice either – August is our month and it’s a whole lot emptier without you.

There are times when sitting there thinking about you, suddenly remembering that you’re gone, can bring me to tears.  However, there are times when those thoughts bring a smile to my face, as I remember all the good memories I have of you.  Simple little things I took for granted are no longer the same and I wish I could hear another one of your Burton jokes again – you genuinely did make me laugh.

I still miss you so much grandad, a whole twelve months later, and I still want you to come back.  The pain isn’t so raw, but I don’t think my heart will ever fully recover from having you taken away.  There was still so much more for us to say, so much more time for us to spend together and a whole lot more for me to learn from you.  I keep thinking about the joke you told me about Job’s daughters, which you never finished and I never heard the end of, which saddens me more than I can describe.

Grandad, you were my inspiration and my hero, one of the people I looked up to most in the world.  I just hope I can make you proud and continue your legacy, because you were the most humble, loving, genuinely caring, considerate individual I ever knew.  I can’t wait to see you again.

Love you with all my heart.

Shan-Shan

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My Sister & I

As I was sat today looking at my sister, I thought about the future when we would be living apart, when she would be married and I would be married.  No longer living in the same house, no longer sharing the same room.

You see, people don’t understand how close my sister and I are, just how attached we are.  She’s not just my sister, but she’s my best friend, my little baby, my confidant, the person who knows everything about me, the person who means more to me than anything in the world to me.

You see, there are times when I’ve been holding on by a thread, and the only thing that kept me hanging on was wanting to be there for my sister to support her.  I could never intentionally leave her alone in this world.

The thought of one day living in totally different house from her makes me sad, because of all the jokes we’ve had together and all of our late night girl talks.   We laugh at things that nobody else would understand, we sing songs that the other is thinking and we come out with exactly the same reactions at the same time.

My sister and I have a very special bond — I say that we’re twins born three years apart.  As we get older, the prospect of living apart gets closer, which is a little difficult to face up to.  Over the course of this year has actually been the longest time we’ve spent apart, as I’ve spent almost three weeks away from her.  When I was away in Bosnia for two weeks, I didn’t realise how much I’d miss her.

My sister, my Rhi Rhi, my best friend is also my other half and words cannot express how much I love her.  We both want happiness for the other, so of course we’re going support one another getting married, but it doesn’t mean that we’re not going to miss each other a whole lot.

Missing the Old Times

As I celebrated the birthday of a friend I’ve grown up with, it was funny to hear many of us say that we missed the old days or wonder how we had all drifted so far apart.

Growing up results in numerous changes, as we all head down different avenues in our life and start doing new things.  Some of us will be more busy than others and some may begin to drift apart, which can lead to broken friendship groups.

However, no matter how far apart or busy we may be, our group will come together to celebrate a birthday, a baby blessing or any other big occasion.  When we need to be there for each other, then we’ll be there for each other and I know that the majority of us will continue that tradition.

One of the best things about being around the huge group of my church friends again was getting jokes and watching their crazy behaviour, which always leaves in me in fits of laughter and then a sore throat.  Being in that upbeat, joyful environment always makes me feel fresh and a lot younger again.

Celebrating with my lifelong friends and reminiscing about old times was definitely the boost I needed and no matter how lonely or strange I may feel, those moments with those people always make me feel good.  I know that they’re going to be a part of my life forever.