Missing You Aunty on Your Birthday

DSC_0043I can’t believe you’re not here today on what would have been your birthday.  Two months have passed since you were suddenly taken from us and I still can’t really believe it.  My funny, caring, lovely aunty should still be around, bringing us joy every time we’d come together.

Like I said about my grandad, God obviously knew that it was your time to go and He has his reasons, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  Although death is inevitable for all of us, I never, ever expected that your life would be snatched away – definitely not at this time anyway.

I wanted to celebrate more family birthdays, family gatherings and of course, your birthdays, at your house.  I wanted to hear more of your stories, told in your unique way, in that husky voice I love so much.  I wanted to be able to see you rush around the kitchen, tell me what was in each dish and then sit down to eat your dinner once we all got our fill.  I wanted to be able to smile and laugh at all of the reading glasses you had scattered around, but now all I have is the memories.

Reminders of your birthday have popped up, and it makes me sad to think that I can’t send you a birthday message and look forward to your quirky reply back.  You used to say that the best people are born in August and you were definitely one of those.  It also makes me sad as I get closer to my birthday, because I know that I won’t have a message from you now.

I can’t believe that I have to get used to August without you too and it breaks my heart, but I feel so lucky to be able to say that I shared this month with Aunty Joce.  I miss having you around and I hope you know how much I loved you and appreciated the time we spent together.  You were the best and you’ve got also got a piece of my heart.  I love you always and forever.

Missing You On Your Birthday

Dad in Jamaica 5It would have been your birthday today, making the loss of you all the more real.  I would have seen you at church today or called up the house to say, “Happy Birthday Grandad!” and hear you reply, “Thank you darling.”  It’s sad that I’m not able to hear your voice, see you smile or give you a hug.

I still miss you, each and everyday, feeling the hurt of knowing my grandad is no longer here.  Talking to mum and Rhianna today, we agreed that God knew that it was your time to go, but I can’t help wishing that you were still here.  I still wanted more time with you – time to hear more of your silly jokes, time to study Revelation, time to learn more about your childhood and your home of Jamaica.

I wanted more time to speak with you, as there are so many things I wish I could have said and so much more love I wish I could have shown.  Often when you come to mind, I wonder if you knew how much I loved you – I really hope you did.

August is now a little emptier without you, and I hate that.  We were part of the same club, celebrating our birthdays nine days apart, but Zane now has that day to himself.  There were many years when doctors and other individuals thought you wouldn’t be spending birthdays with us, but I never shared their doubts, so it comes as a surprise to me that I’m not telling you happy birthday this year.  You were such a fighter, I just didn’t imagine losing you.

I guess I’ll just have to get used to an August without you, no longer able to celebrate your birthday or have you around to celebrate mine.  However, I’m incredibly happy for all of the Augusts I did spend with you and all of the memories you gave me over the years.  I was very lucky to have you as my grandad and you still have a piece of my heart.  I love you always and forever.

My Top 5 Months of the Year

So yesterday was all about my Top 5 Colours, but today is all about my Top 5 months of the year.  This may seem like a strange one, but these months stand out to me for various reasons, which is what makes them so special.  Maybe you’ll find yourself thinking the same thing as me.


5. January

The festive season is my favourite time of the year, and New Years comes under that.  Seeing as New Years Day is in January, it makes this month part of one of my favourite times of the year.  I also like the start of a new year, as I think it symbolises starting afresh in a way.January

4. July

Although the festive period is my favourite time of the year, summer is officially my favourite season and July falls under summer.  However, the main reason why this is one of my favourite months, rather than June, is because my wonderful little sister was born in this month and where would I be without her. July

3. August

Again, August is a summer month and you know how I love summer, with the sun and the warmth (if it comes) and the holidays from school or college or uni.  I also happen to be born in August, so you know that it’s the top month of the year, despite not being my overall favourite.August

2. December

Making the choice of whether December should be one or two was really tough, as I love the festive season so much, but I had to put December at number two.  Of course, Christmas takes place in December and I love everything that comes with that, from putting up the tree and hearing the songs on the radio, to seeing the Christmas lights and doing last-minute shopping.  However, the only thing is that the Christmas spirit is starting to diminish in me.December

1. March

This would have been different a few years ago, but for me, no month can be number one now but March.  I look forward to March every single year, not because it is the beginning of Spring (which is very pretty), but because of March Madness.  I love basketball, but I especially love me some college basketball, and March Madness is college basketball at it’s finest.  It is exhilarating and emotional, making me sit on the edge of my seat in excitement and cry tears of heartbreak.  Just writing about it is getting me excited already.March Madness

Now you know my Top 5 months of the year and why.  I’d love to know your favourite months and what makes them so special to you.