Attack

Fighting Off The Enemy

Gotta keep fighting;

Fighting against the thoughts in my head

That tell me,

“I’m not good enough,”

“I can’t do this,”

“I won’t make it,”

“No one will care.”

Achievements,

My abilities,

Mean nothing to these voices;

The good

Always obliterated by the bad,

The positives

Cancelled by the negatives.

Fear paves the way,

Opening the gate

For the inner demons to stride in,

Settle down

And make themselves at home;

Filling my mind

With poison

That’s torture to get rid of.

When things are moving forward,

Challenges beginning to arise,

That’s when the fear comes,

Looming over like dark cloudy skies;

Trying to stop me from moving forward,

Wanting to hold me back,

If the enemy sees I’m making progress,

That’s when they choose to attack.

Leaving me in the never-ending battle

Being fought within,

Now I need to make sure

The enemy doesn’t win.

 

Out of Danger into the Arms of Safety

The devil has played me good and proper, you know.  As I talked to one of my closest friends recently, it dawned on me just how much the devil has messed me up and poisoned my mind.

I spent so long attacking myself and putting myself down, that I believed that I was at the central point of anything going wrong in my life.  When my friend was drifting away – because he was working on himself and he needed that time to himself – I made myself believe that it was because of something I had done wrong.

Although I was always kind, caring and supportive, I believed that I had inadvertently done something.  Even though we had no arguments or any issues, I thought that I had somehow offended him.  Somehow, my actions or what I’d said had caused my friend to distance from me and that made me think that nothing he’d said was true.

However, when we actually spoke in person, he asked me what I could possibly have done.  He said that I could not say anything that bad that would make him not want to speak to me, and he assured me that his distance was because he needed to sort himself out, rather than run away from me.

I sat there, wanting to slap myself for being so ridiculous and laugh at how much I had let the devil get into my head.  I am so glad that God has finally helped me realise that I am not always the problem, even though I would have myself believe that I am.  Not everything is my fault and I am not the stupid, annoying, pathetic person I spent so long thinking I was.

The devil has had a stronghold in me, but with God guiding me, I am finally fighting through and cutting it down.  My mind and the voice in my head has proved so dangerous over the years, but I am now getting out of that danger and into the safety of my God’s loving arms.

Get Behind Me Satan

Over the past few days, I’ve really felt the devil coming for me by trying to launch a fresh attack.  He’s obviously seen how much God has been helping me, guiding me and blessing me, which has allowed me to finally start moving forward in my life and he’s doing all that he can to set me back.

The devil has had fun playing with my mind over the years, so it makes sense for him to try to plague my mind with negative thoughts from my past at particular times in the present.  He knows that these thoughts have the capability to make me feel worse about some of the people and relationships in my life.  It also feels like he is trying to lead me back to a bad place that I never want to return to by causing some old feelings to resurface on certain occasions, just like my recent feelings of loneliness.

However, I could see through his pathetic little games and I refused to let him win this time.  He has been beating me down for years, but I’ve finally let God take control and it is His mighty power that has fought the devil off.  With God’s strength and support, I have come this far and I now have a winning chance.

The devil has had a foothold in me for far too long and I refuse to stand for it anymore.  I’m going to sit at my Jesus’s feet and give it all to him, because I know that He is handling it for me and with Him I have nothing to worry about.

I am not going to let my past define my present and I refuse to ever return to that dark place I was once in again.  I can’t allow the things that get me down to control me and I am not going to let negativity have a hold on my mind.

So I’m saying right now, “Get behind my Satan”!  I will not give you the satisfaction you so desperately want.  My God has got my back and He is stronger than you will ever aspire to be.