I’m so tired of being in this sick, twisted world that continues to bring me hurt, misery and pain, in spite of all the good that surrounds me.
In many ways, I am done with this life, although I do want to keep living, and I have no desire to put an end to the life that God has given me. I am in pain, but things could be so much worse.
For some reason, I continue to make stupid mistakes and find myself in situations that I have no reason to be in, which messes me up inside and sends me back to the dark places I’ve found myself in before.
Last month, I found myself in a situation that left me with feelings of upset, anger, regret and annoyance, but I can’t change it. The past is the past and I don’t have the privilege of owning a time machine, so what will be will be.
However, I decided to try and put it to the back of my mind and I hoped that going away would make me okay with everything that was going on for the time being. However, distraction doesn’t keep the demons at bay and they found a way to hit me when I was least expecting it.
Despite my resistance, I am going to have to face up to everything and deal with all the heartbreak, pain and anguish from over the years, otherwise it is going to cause me to break down entirely. However, I’d rather just be done with it and not dwell on anything all.