Just a Joke


Yesterday I told you that the situation regarding males in my life is a complete joke, and it just continues to get funnier.  In fact, it’s not really funny anymore; it’s starting to become a bit ridiculous.

I’ve told you that I am not interested in the guys who like me, yet I seem to find myself drawn to guys who don’t like me or who aren’t genuinely interested.  And then it gets worse, because when I actually start showing interest in a guy who likes me, he backs off suddenly.  It’s as if someone is playing a sick joke, which I am not finding amusing.  However, that is another joke in itself.  This is all about the recent situation with the males I have found myself mixed up with – I can’t even say that I’m involved with them, because things are not that deep or that serious.

In the past month I found myself reluctantly giving two guys my number – despite not being attracted to them at all – just so that I could shut them up; however, I didn’t make them any promises that anything would happen.  Yet after showing some bluntness and not indulging in conversation, one got the message and left me alone, while one is still in pursuit.

Now what is most annoying about the guy who is still in pursuit is that I was hoping he was someone else when he last messaged me, which increases my disinterest in him.  There are two other guys that I have spoken to recently, who I am actually attracted to and would consider giving a chance after time spent getting to know them better.  I was actually willing to give both of them my number, but neither of them have called, which only bothers me because I have an actual attraction to them.

Nevertheless, I’ve found myself in a tangled web with these two guys, even though nothing has happened yet.  I’m not going to go into the whole thing, but let’s just say that there is a connection between these two and even though I haven’t seen them together, I know for a fact that these two not only know each other, but that they are also very closely acquainted.  It’s actually incredibly weird that they both share the same taste in girls.

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions, but let’s just say that these are two very cute but different guys, who I would consider dating, yet I know that it would be very awkward if one of them was to introduce me to the other.  Both are sweet, but one has more of a level head screwed on, while I feel like I wanna try to support the other one to have some sort of positive impact in his life.  Neither has called though, which might be for the best, but it’s typical that any guy I’m attracted to is reluctant to make a move.  Personally, I think that I need to start taking guy’s numbers, which will also prevent my number from being in too many people’s phones.

This then brings me to one more guy in my life.  Someone who is special, funny, caring and would most likely be good for me, but although I can visualise us together, I don’t see us getting together.  I also won’t allow myself to like him – as you know how I do – but if he did make a move I’ve started to wonder if I’d reciprocate.  Someone very close to me thinks that he likes me, but he hasn’t made a move, so I guess it’s pointless to mention.

It would be so much easier if guys were upfront and said what they felt, did what they said they were going to do and made a move if they were interested.  It would save time, prevent a lot of drama and stop wires from getting crossed.  I am someone who is not backwards in being forwards, so I will say how I feel, act on it and make the first move, but I don’t want to be accused of acting too much like a guy, like I have in the past.  I like to go out and get what I want, instead of standing around and wasting time, but most guys are not like that so for now, my “love life” is just a joke.

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