I know I keep saying this, but I need to care less. I was speaking to my sister yesterday and she made it clear to me that I need to stop letting things affect me so much.
I have realised that I let certain situations and certain people have to big of an effect on me, but I have actually been trying to change that. However, it has not been easy and it is one of the issues in my life that continues to have a major effect on me.
I allow people to have too much power over me and control my emotions in some way, which I want to get away from. I am always thinking about others and what they want, instead of taking the time out to look after myself, which usually results in me feeling wounded while they are walking around living their lives without giving me one thought.
My sister said that I am a people pleaser and you know what, I have to agree with that. I hate that I agree with that, but it’s the truth. I care way too much about what people think of me, so I strive to please them or act in a way that would make them happy. I struggle with saying no and I always think about the way that I being perceived.
I already lost myself in trying to be what others wanted me to be and I refuse to go back there again, but I need to find a way to stand up for myself and stop trying to please everyone. My desire to please people has led to me being walked over and feeling as if I am always the problem, but this has to stop now.
I don’t want to stop caring entirely, because that is not in my nature and I love people. However, I need to care less and focus a little more on being my own person rather than being who others want me to be. Once that happens, I believe that I will be comfortable with who I am, I will grow in confidence and I will stop being so hard on myself.
When I am less hard on myself, I’m sure that I will thrive and then I believe that God will send me the guy of my dreams. The devil knows that I am hard on myself and I see that he is using it against me, but again, I’m leaving it up to God because I know He has my back. As I always say, I am a work in progress…