I recently told someone that I was selective when it came to considering guys that I would date.  He told me that this was a posh way of saying that I was picky, but I was inclined to disagree as being selective is different to being picky.

However, as I thought about what he had said, I began to wonder if I am being picky, but I decided to stick with selective.  Anyway, I believe that I have a right to be selective, because I don’t want to be dating just anyone.

For me to even consider dating a guy, I have to be attracted to not only his appearance but more importantly his personality.  I am not shallow and I don’t like to shut any one down based on their appearance (unless I am seriously unattracted to them), but character is key and if a guy has a dead personality then it is over before it even has the chance to get started.

I also want to take time to get to know someone before we make things official; in fact, I’d prefer to initially be friends with the person I start dating.  I want my feelings for him to grow on my own accord, as I get to know him, rather than starting to like someone just because they like me.  I’ve made that mistake too many times.

When it comes to finding a guy, I know what I’m looking for so I’m not trying to date anyone right now.  Although I am still sorting myself out, I would be willing to give a special individual a chance, but there do not seem to be many guys around me who have what I’m looking for.

At this moment in my life though, I have even more reason to be selective, because I am not just looking for a casual boyfriend or wasted relationship.  I want a serious, lasting relationship, because I am looking to find my potential husband.

I know that this might scare some guys off, but that simply means that they’re not the one for me.  I’ve expressed how important marriage is to me and I’d prefer to get married sooner rather than later.  I think this is why I am rarely attracted to the guys I meet and why I don’t seem to like anyone these days.

Being with the right guy is important to me, so yes, I am selective and I won’t apologise for that.  I have faith that the right one will come along and when he does, I’ll ready for him.



  1. I totally agree with being friends first. My best relationships have been with people I became close to organically beforehand. There’s always something a bit false and misleading about a relationship that begins with romance/sex as the motivation.

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