Lonely


There are times when I find myself feeling lonely and it just brings back all those memories of how lonely, alone and isolated I felt in the past.  I don’t want to feel lonely and I definitely don’t like feeling lonely, especially when I am surrounded by people.

Although I know that I will never literally be lonely and alone, because of the God in my life, my family and certain friends, there are times when people in my life find a way to make me feel lonely and isolated, mainly because I am regularly left out.

Now I am not someone who thinks I need to know and be involved in absolutely everything, but it is nice to be kept in the loop and feel like I am part of a group.  There is nothing worse than being in a group of people and not really being in the group.  It makes me feel like a spare part who does not actually fit, as I sit quietly not being able to get involved in particular conversations and watch as individuals whisper like I’m not even there.

For some reason, it seems that no matter what I do, there are times when I am seen as the second-rate friend.  It’s like I’m not good enough to be a real part of the group, so I am left sitting on the outside of their inner circle and you know what, it hurts.

I don’t like to sit dwelling on this, because it upsets my spirit, and I don’t want to spend time thinking about something that will bring me down.  I don’t understand why I regularly find myself in this situation, but such is life.

I have a truly amazing God in my life and I know that he will never leave me or treat me like a second-rate citizen.  I have a special sister, who I can always turn to.  I have a great best friend who is always loyal.  I have a lovely twin who appreciates me as much as I appreciate him.  I have a hilarious friend who I adore and a kooky friend who I’ve got a lot of love for.  And I also have both of my parents in my life.

I don’t like feeling lonely, but I cannot change how people are going to act around me or force them to treat me differently.  I just have to count my blessings and keep living my life as best as I can.

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3 comments

  1. Thank you for sharing this. You’re not the only one who feels this way many times in their life, as you know it is part of life. If we didn’t know how loneliness felt, we wouldn’t know how to appreciate someone’s loving presence. It’s okay to feel lonely-embrace it–then let it go when it’s time. You will find your niche. As for now, take it all in as a learning opportunity of what kind of environment you thrive in, where you feel alive and connected :).

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