Blessed and Thankful

As I was travelling home today and listening to my beloved gospel music, I saw that my sister had written to me, “SO proud of ya babes!  You made it” and my eyes started welling up with tears.  I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion that resulted in me crying tears of happiness, which does not happen very often.

After all of the heartache, struggle and misery of my time at uni, today I was finally rewarded for all of the hard work I had put in.  Although I had not received a Bachelor of Arts, I had been given a Diploma of Higher Education, which I am over the moon about. God gave me the strength and determination to persevere through two difficult years and pass every module set, unlike some of other individuals on my course.

Looking at my dream university and thinking about how my time with them had come to its ultimate end was bittersweet, but it had taught me so much and God had not allowed me to walk away from there empty-handed.  I am incredibly thankful and I want to give God all the praise for what he allowed me to achieve.

Yet just today, I was reflecting on how blessed and thankful I am for what God has been doing in my life at the moment.  After all of the time spent feeling lost, rejected and alone, fearful, low in confidence and not good enough, I’m finally rising above that and moving forward.  My dreams and ultimate goals seem ever closer.

God works in mysterious ways and finds a way to show you that He had a plan set in motion even when you were weathering the storm.  There are two charities that have been present at my church during a set of concerts who have helped my life in so many ways, and it feels as if God put them in my sight for a reason.  He knew I was in need of help.

I approached the organisation, Croydon Drop-In, because they offered counselling and I had realised just a few weeks before that I needed counselling to address some of the issues I’d buried deep.  Each week for three months, I sat down with an amazing counsellor and then went home to speak to God about everything that had been discussed.

The counselling process was not easy for me, as it brought many issues to the surface that I had forgotten about or did not even know I had.  I cried, I vented, I got angry, I experienced an emotional detox.

However, it was one of the best things I ever did, because it allowed me to get better as I fought through the storm and made it out of the other side.  I made decisions that I was too afraid to make before, I grew stronger, I looked to the root of my problems and I developed an even deeper relationship with God.

God knew that I needed counselling and putting Croydon Drop-In into my life at just the right time was one of the best things He’s ever done for me.  I can’t be thankful enough.

I got involved with the second organisation, Lives Not Knives, in a different way.  I was referred to them and although I had heard all about them, I was a bit dubious about attending their programme.  However, I went to my first session with an open mind and I was happily surprised.

I have been struggling to not only find work, but I have also been struggling about what to do and how to go forward with my writing career.  I had been at a bit of a standstill and I was praying to God about it, but for some reason I wasn’t moving forward.

However, Lives Not Knives’ employability programme has helped me with this and more.  They have got me in touch with various individuals in the industry, got me involved with various events and even assigned me an article, which is expanding my network and taking my writing career to greater heights.

They’ve also assisted me with my job search, helped me figure out my personal brand and perfect my CV.  Attending their programme has helped me grow in confidence and eliminated my fear of the world because I am so willing to leave my house everyday to interact with people I am not entirely familiar with.

But best of all, this programme has enabled me to meet some truly amazing people with loving hearts and great personalities.  I’ve received guidance from people who truly care and been encouraged by people who see great things in me.  I’ve also made new friends who I never would have met otherwise.

God knows my struggles, fears and insecurities.  He was aware of how much my change in career direction had scared me and that I was again feeling lost, so He put me in this employability programme at just the right time with just the right charity.  I will be eternally grateful for that, as it has been a true blessing.  I will be sad when I have to leave because I’ve found a full-time job.

My life continues to be a work in progress and there are certain aspects that still trouble me, but I am feeling incredibly blessed and thankful right now.  I serve a great and mighty God who continues to save me and do amazing things for my life, even though I am so unworthy.

I am full of joy and I am so incredibly happy that God has never ever given up on me, despite of the many times when I’ve given up on myself.  He’s always been there, because He believes that I am special with so much to give to this world.  I didn’t use to believe that, but now I do and I am finally gaining the confidence to show it.

I want to sincerely thank my Lord and Saviour for blessing me and knowing exactly what I need.  I don’t know where I’d be without Him and I really wanted to take the time to share that with you all today.


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