Saving Myself

My religious beliefs and values are of a high importance to me, so I take them very seriously.  I belive that there is a sacredness in sex between a married couple, which is why I have decided to stay a virgin until marriage.

Sex is an amazing gift from God that is supposed to be shared by two people, symbolising the two of them becoming one.  It is a deeper and more meaningful act with a higher significance than many of us realise, which is why God intended for us to have only one sexual partner – our husband or our wife.

When you have sex, you are giving yourself fully to that person, so that they will have a part of you and you of them.  And by having sex with multiple partners, you are leaving pieces of yourself all around the place in various individuals.

It is also harder for you to break free from the person you’ve slept with, because you’ve formed that deep physical and emotional connection that is designed to last forever.  I want to feel that deep connection with a single individual, not only because that is what God intended, but because it will make our relationship all the more special and it will be sacred for me.

However, choosing to remain a virgin until marriage is extremely difficult in the world we are living in at this present time.  Many individuals see sex as nothing more than an action for their pleasure and they do it so much that it eventually means nothing to them.

Sex has also become something that is expected in a relationship, especially among the males.  If you are not willing to give them what they want, they will not even take the time to date you or they will look elsewhere to remain satisfied while they are in the relationship.

There are many individuals who conform and give in to what the male or female they like wants, because they are trying so hard to keep hold of them.  And once that happens, there is no stopping them from doing the same thing again during their next encounter.

While discussing this with my sister, she said that she would feel bad about making a non-virgin wait until marriage to have sex, because of the lengthy relationship.  I mean, since they’ve already had sex and therefore know what they’re missing, why should the person you’re in love with respect your beliefs and be willing to wait until marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, not everyone will respect your beliefs and not everyone will be willing or able to wait until marriage to have sex.  However, you should never feel bad about what you believe and it is both sad and unfair that the ways of this world make us feel bad about what we choose to believe.

Staying true to who you are and what you believe in can be difficult at times, but it is up to you to make a stand and be the person that you want to be.  And if you want others to respect your beliefs, then you also need to respect theirs, because we live in a world that has a large melting pot of individuals.

Saving myself until marriage really means a lot to me and I understand that it will make finding a husband in this day and age a little more difficult; but although getting married is extremely meaningful for me, my relationship with God and my journey towards Heaven is far more significant.  Nevertheless, I know that God has got my back and I have faith that He will come through for me…



  1. I understand and respect where you’re coming from. I was raised in church (protestant), and I’m a pastor’s daughter… talk about pressure. It’s very hard to find someone that will respect that these days. Not to say finding someone that’s also a virgin, that is quite a task. I shared your beliefs and the part of waiting for that special someone, but as I grew older I changed. After a bad relationship in my late teens (he got mad because I refused to have sex, among other things), Years passed, I became an adult and I was still single. At that point, I didn’t see the use in waiting, since there’s no guarantee we’ll all find a partner. In my opinion, you don’t lose anything from having sex, it’s a pleasurable act and there’s nothing to be lost or gained from it, it’s just a physical thing, there’s no emotions involved, unless you’re in love. When you’re in love, the experience tends to be more intense and special. Now I’m 30 years old and still single.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, whatever decision you make or whatever happens down the road, I want you to know that your worth as a woman and as a human being doesn’t depend on being a virgin or not. You’ve made a tough decision and I commend you for it. It won’t be easy, but since those are your values, stay strong and keep your head up. Don’t let anyone shame you for it.

    1. I respect your views and I appreciate you taking the time to share them. It feels good when people understand where you’re coming from. I’m trying to stay as strong as possible and I plan to stand firm in my beliefs.

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