Not the Guy

Today you proved that you’re not the guy I thought you were.  You proved once and for all that you’re not the guy for me.  I just wanted that last bit of proof to show me who you really are, and today I got that.

Although I’m sad that I got you all wrong, I’m glad that I finally know the truth so I can move on.  Even though I’m hurt that you don’t respect me or care about me enough to give me some sort of response, I forgive you for all you put me through.  And despite the disappointment I felt when I saw you acting like another guy who had done me wrong, I still care about you.

Like I’ve said before, I don’t know what the future holds but I don’t think that you and I will be close again.  But this doesn’t stop me from caring about you and I will never ever stop caring about you, because you’ve been such a big part of my life for such a long time.

However, I’m entering a new phase of my life now and I guess you’re going to be taking a backseat from now on – especially if you keep on acting like this.  You stopped being the guy I loved so deeply a long time ago and I don’t think I know you anymore.  You’re just like any other guy I know now; there’s nothing special about our relationship.

Yet what makes it worse is that you were the guy I saw myself marrying.  You were the guy I actually wanted to marry.  No matter what anyone said, whether it was my sister or one of my closest friends, I believed that you were the guy for me.

You understood me, you cared about me, you had time for me and I believed that once you matured, we’d finally get together and be happy.  We were the two individuals who our friends always saw as a potential couple and thought belonged together, but I guess you didn’t really see us that way.

I thought you were the one for me, but even if you didn’t agree I thought you genuinely cared about me and saw me in a different light to most females, because I was a close friend and I’d let you in.  The two of us have come so far and been through a lot, so I thought that you’d give me some sort of response and at least apologise.  A simple sorry would mean the world to me.

I feel wounded, not because I didn’t get any type of response, but because it was you that did not give me any type of response.  I stupidly still believed in you and thought that you’d be the special friend I missed so much, but you let me down again.  I expected that other guy to disappoint me and not even attempt to respond, but I never expected that from you.

You continue to find ways to upset me – and it’s usually without even meaning to – but this is the last time.  You’ve proved to me once and for all that I don’t really matter to you, so now I can move forward and I won’t be looking back.

You had my heart, but I’m taking it back.  We had a friendship that meant the world to me, but now it’s dead and gone.  I thought you were the one, but that was just a pointless daydream.  And even though I love you, you’re not the guy that I thought you were.  He’s somebody that I used to know and I’m finally telling him goodbye…


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