Out in the Open

So everything is finally out in the open now.  I laid all my feelings bare in that letter, so you know everything I felt, everything I thought and everything I’m going through now.

It took a lot of courage for me to even give that letter to you, as I have no idea about how you’re going to react.  Are you going to get angry at me?  Will you respond?  Will you ever wanna speak to me again?  What will our relationship be like after this?  Will we even be friends again?

There are so many thoughts, questions and worries circling around in my head; it’s starting to drive me a little crazy at times.  I don’t even know if you’ve read the letter yet and I’m very unsure about how you might have reacted to it.  I’m pretty sure it was a shock to your system.

Nevertheless, this has been a big step for me.  I was able to show bravery and strength that I don’t think I’ve ever been able to show before, and I was able to share this burden with you so that I was not still carrying it on my own.  It feels like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am incredibly relieved.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I believe that this was the best thing for me to do in the present.  I just had to get this off my chest before it destroyed me completely.  I’m not angry anymore, I’m not distressed anymore and I think I’m finally on my way to fully forgiving you.  I just hope you understand where I’m coming from and why I had to get this all out in the open…


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