Sitting in Gloom


I’m sitting inside and looking out at a horribly gloomy day.  It already looks dark even though sunset isn’t for another 25 minutes and rain is pouring down, splashing against the window.  The wind blows slightly, as I sit feeling cold inside my house.

This is my least favourite time of the year – I truly hate it – and it always seems to bring me down a notch.  Spring is beautiful and warm, with the blossoms falling from the trees.  Summer is fun and bright, as the sun shines down on me and welcomes me to another year of life.  Winter is festive and joyful with a sense of warmth, as I celebrate Christmas and the New Year.

But Autumn is usually cold and dreary, with the leaves that have fallen becoming wet, slippery and squelchy because of the rain.  It means that summer has drawn to a close, I might have to return to school or uni and I will unfortunately have to start wearing coats again.  There is also Guy Fawkes and Halloween, which I have no interest in at all.

I just find autumn dead, dark and depressing, making me feel worse than any other time of the year.  Yet during this year’s autumn, I feel a lot more down than usual.  Yes, the weather does make me a little low and yes, the fact that it’s autumn does bother me; but it’s more than that.

I’ve opened up a number of old wounds that I am now treating as best as I can, so that I can finally begin to heal.  I seem to experiencing some sort of sting from these wounds each day, which is bringing my overall mood down and leaving me to sit in my own gloom.

However, I know that my wounds will eventually heal and autumn will eventually become winter.  It will take a bit of time, but eventually – I won’t be sitting in gloom anymore.

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2 comments

  1. Beautiful words, and clearly heartfelt. Sorry to read autumn is holding you down a little, but warmed to see that the draw of a crisp winter is providing that ray of hope we all need sometime. Nature can often bring those small, everyday miracles from which our lives are fed.

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