I Love You

I love you.  These are the three words I could never say to you, but felt for so long.  You never knew how I truly felt about you and I refused to fully let you in, because I did not want to make things weird or jeopardise our friendship.

The more I spoke to you and as I got to know you better, I saw that you were actually a really good person and deep down you had a good heart.  You showed me a side of yourself that others didn’t see, which I think is why I fell so hard for you.

You constantly made me laugh and speaking to you never failed to make me smile.  You knew what to do when I was down and you always knew what to say to cheer me up.  I always felt safe around you and I loved the feeling of being wrapped up in your arms.

You were the only person who truly liked me for me, despite all the crap, my issues and weirdo mood swings.  You took the time to get to know me, and were able to see the good and the bad, when others didn’t.  I let you see me at times when I was at my worst, and you still had feelings for me.

Sometimes it bugs me that we were never able to get it together and become a proper couple, but we obviously just weren’t meant to be.  It was probably the wrong time for us and I don’t think we would have been good for each other anyways.

You’ve effected my life in ways that you don’t even know, both positively and negatively, but I have to get over that now and move on.  You’re my past and I’m done with thinking that we will ever have a future.

You’ve really changed and in some ways, I’ve changed, but I don’t think we will ever be what we once were.  You’re no longer the guy I fell in love, in fact, you’re no longer the guy I originally liked.  You seem to be someone different living in his body, and I can’t take that.

You had a place in my heart, which I thought you would fill forever, but it’s been filled with the love of God now.  I can’t have any trace of you left in my heart, as it is hindering me from moving forward and I don’t want that.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to tell you all this face to face, and I really hope to tell you soon.  I just had to get this off my chest for now, as it’s been bugging me for an extremely long time and I couldn’t take it anymore.  Just know that whatever happens, you’re my friend and I love you x


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