Today was a really good day for me. It was one of those days when everything seemed to fall perfectly into place and what occurred was meant to be. All of my plans interlinked, the sun was shining, a big smile was on my face and I came to some important realisations.
I can be a very negative person – at times way too negative for my liking – and I have seen how seriously it has effected my life. Instead of being optimistic, I spend a lot of time being pessimistic, but this is mainly because I do not like disappointment and I prefer not get my hopes up, only to have them dashed down again.
My negativity has destroyed aspects of my happiness, as it seems to make me more inclined to push people away or not give the sweet guys who may be good for me a chance – instead, I spend time pursuing guys who treat me bad or don’t genuinely care about me. Negative feelings have also gotten in the way of my education, as I became so depressed, despondent and de-motivated that I did not want to carry on. I’ve been continuously telling myself, “I can’t do this, I can’t get through this”, but the truth is I actually can.
Today I realised that I am constantly telling myself that I can’t do things. This is something that I need to stop, because I have the potential to do more than I give myself credit for. I am stronger than I think, more talented than I want to admit and I have the potential to be very confident. However, I don’t tap into these aspects of myself, so you’ll constantly hear me saying “I can’t”, instead of saying “I’m not sure” or “I can”. I need to believe in myself, conquer my issues and live my life in the best way possible.
I also realised that by constantly saying “I can’t”, I am basically doubting God and throwing his promises back in his face. My favourite Bible text is be Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – but I have been saying this without truly believing it. If I really believed it, I would have the courage to take on anything, knowing that God is always on my side and He will give me the strength to carry on, even when I don’t want to. If I really believed this text, I would be using the phrase “I can” much more than “I can’t”.
Yet as my faith has grown this year and my relationship with Christ has developed, I truly believe it when I read this text and I know that I can do all things with the help of my Lord and Saviour. I see that as my confidence during university decreased, my faith in God also decreased slightly, although I would hate to admit it.
However, I feel that my faith is now stronger than ever and I believe that God will get me through the struggles of my final year, because I can do it with Him guiding me. A song came to my head yesterday, which says “He can do the impossible in your life”, and I believe that God can do the impossible in my life, even when I may be ready to give up.
This world is a struggle and things may not always go the way I want them to, but I need to really believe in myself and enjoy each day as best as I can. Over these past few months, I’ve seen what a big difference positivity can make and I want to become more optimistic, because this is not only what God wants for me, but it is also good for me. I just need to stop saying “I can’t” and start saying “I can”…